It’s hard to believe that it has gotten to the fifth post on this page already. I’m very grateful to the Substack space for holding space for my words and musings. It’s been a great fuel for my creativity both online and off. Thank you so much to all the people who tune into my scribblings every week, or at least as frequently as I can write. While the writing has mainly been to believe in myself, having the knowledge that others are interested in listening to what I have to say does give me a boost in confidence to keep going. I know I don’t have to rely on that but it’s really nice to have. Again, thank you.
Substack has been a haven for some because there are some readers who don’t know the author personally. I don’t happen to fall under that category. There are some people who I haven’t really shared my page to. But there are some dear people in my life who I have shared that I’ve started publicly writing again. One of them is a longtime subscriber across all my platforms, my very first patron, and a great friend. As I’m about to leave a job I’ve held for 7 years, their support has been such a big factor in keeping the warp core running until my next chapter starts. We were chatting about the huge transition when they asked how I came up with the names of this Substack and the Phoenix Lotus Galaxy Kingdom. I figured since we’re 5 episodes into this thing, I might as well give a little back story.
So first off, The Third Nerd. Why not first or second?
Besides the more well-known trope of the Power of Three, The Third Nerd was through a conversation I had with a different friend - this time about naming this Substack and self-identification. This was one of the big threads that prompted me to start writing because it’s something that I have grappled with for most of my life and have only come to some peace with recently. I was born to two immigrants in an American suburban neighborhood. I have relatives from all over the globe - by blood, marriage, and chosen. I went to a cosmopolitan Montessori school and trained under a Japanese-Hawaiian martial arts master for 13 years. All those influences along with others I’ve acquired in my adolescence and adulthood have had me form into what John and Ruth Useem call a “third culture kid”*.
*[Just to give more affirmation for those who have different experiences, TCKs can also be TCAs (third culture adults).]
Third culture kids are people who are born into one culture but raised in another, resulting in an interesting mashup of the two - a third culture. TCKs can range from missionary kids, to those “fresh off the boat”, military families, frequent travelers, and international refugees and adoptees - most of these are the ones most commonly associated with the term. There has been a recent acknowledgment of a fourth variation of the third culture kid, which is the child of immigrants (aka me), which is pretty close to the definition currently used in Wikipedia at the time of this writing (I know school says don’t cite Wikipedia unless you’re grabbing the sources. Substack isn’t school however, so I’m doing it):
My parents came from West Africa (one of them also has family history in Germany, the UK, and the Iberian Peninsula). I was born and currently live in the United States. The combination of all those influences I’ve discussed has made for a rather interesting third culture. For a while, I didn’t feel safe claiming the title as most of the TCKs tended to be travel-heavy or didn’t have a physical or ideological sense of where to call home. I had those physical and ideological senses of home: I could easily name places as home and where my heritage came from - it was cultural and spiritual home where things got dicey for me. I sometimes felt like I was too African for the Americans and too American for the Africans and it still happens even now. My cosmopolitan nature often felt like a disadvantage in certain circles but a boon in others.
The best description I came across about the feeling I was experiencing was through a presentation I saw at Oxford University this year by US-Mexican transborder scholar Dr. Vannessa Falcón Orta. Citing examples by OJ Martinez and Gloria Anzaldúa, the way she described the culture of the borderlands felt so familiar. While for those living on the borderlands was more immediate, mine was more metaphorical but no less real. I’d been so aware of the in-between but it wasn’t until then that I really began to accept this inter mundos existence I’ve been occupying all my life.
So the nerd’s pretty obvious…
And yet I still feel the need to define it because I do identify with more than one segment of the fandom Venn diagram. So it goes back to the classic geek vs nerd debate. For the sake of simplicity, I’m not going to include the two other terms that tend to intersect with this debate. (Plus to be frank, I find the terms rather clunky sounding and almost offensive. They’re dweeb and dork in case anyone’s curious.)
A geek is defined as an enthusiast: someone who is passionate on a certain subject, usually pop culture or memorabilia related. A nerd is more intellectual: stereotypically associated with STEM fields (we are a STEAM kingdom here, ta very much), this person is driven by the pursuit of new knowledge and skills. Both of them are often looked upon as socially awkward or unconventional but we’ve been becoming the cool kids for the past decade between the MCU and recent video game movie adaptations.
(S/N - Hard to believe this song’s over 10 years old and it still holds up!)
The terms are interchangeable nowadays; some tend to keep them distinct, others consider one to be the subtype of the other. As demonstrated by how I end my posts and my livestreams, I enjoy anime, especially magical stuff like Sailor Moon and Madoka Magica, and video games like Tomb Raider, Sonic, and Kingdom Hearts. I also collect a huge range of literature from the esoteric to the fantastical. In terms of my nerd cred, I’ve worked at universities for almost a decade - (nearly) 3 years as a multimedia librarian and 7 as a student centers event technician, and I have two degrees: a bachelor’s in English and a master’s & certificate in Religion. Besides studying the “blade” that is Aikido, I’m about to go to a Japanese immersion program in less than a week.
So yeah, as a nerd, polymath, and a lifelong learner, I keep myself very, very busy. Go ahead and mock me, Homer Simpson. I dare you.
Now your domain - the Phoenix Lotus Galaxy Kingdom: where in the world does that come from?
This one’s an easy one. The three parts of the kingdom’s title come from symbols I personally identify with. They all involve a massive transformation in some way and all for the better.
The phoenix is a badass creature. It’s one of the few that exist in both the East and the West and the auspicious and positive meaning of this bird is consistent across both cultures. In the West, it’s a symbol of renewal and resurrection and of overcoming obstacles (the classic rising from the ashes imagery). In the East, it’s often paired or meshed with the dragon and the phoenix represents a balance of elemental forces as well as good luck, nature, and celestial bodies. More on the celestial in a bit.
The lotus is another symbol of multiple cultures about rebirth and overcoming obstacles. Its most famous association is with Buddhism and Hinduism where without mud, the lotus can’t thrive. It is possible to acknowledge your adversity and also rise above it via a new perspective. It’s also a symbol of spiritual awakening, divinity, inspiration, and enlightenment. I haven’t really talked about my spiritual side on here yet but I promise I will get to it down the line. Given the symbols and the name of this page, it’s easy to tell that I’m rather unconventional and unorthodox in my perspective. That being said, those who lean more towards the traditional side are also welcome here.
Galaxies have always fascinated me since I was a kid watching Star Trek Voyager on TV. They’re colorful (granted with some artistic rendering to make it so), vast, and dramatic. Their origin story is pretty extravagant too - the fact that a massive star went supernova to make billions to googols more in addition to living beings like us is nothing more than incredible - dare I say magical. It’s another mode of transformation but this time of a more exploratory and mysterious nature. There’s a good reason why space is called the Final Frontier - the potential of what is out there, and even what’s within us, is immense.
So finally the Kingdom. Out of all the structures I could pick, especially with recent events, why that? First off, the only kinds of royalties that should exist is artist wages and pop culture -at least where I currently live - not gonna comment about any other part of the world here. My kingdom certainly fits the latter definition. If it did become a literal structure, I’d lean towards the cinematic Wakandan model where your mettle has to be proved and the decisions are not unilateral: there’s a council involved. It’s also a slight nod to Kingdom Hearts and my personal heritage. The names of my fictional domain and this page are proof of that. While I’m the “ruler” of this little section of Substack space, part of the decision was communal. It took talking with a friend about the name, getting a text from said friend to meditate about the name, and me finally creating the logo to make this all happen.
This page was a gigantic bet on myself, a leap of faith - that I can create again, that I can have faith and trust myself and the Universe again, to know that the things I say and do can have meaning: be it inherent or made. Frankly, I don’t know where this page will take me. But what I do know is regardless of the manifestation - be it worldly or internal (ideally both), I know it’ll take me far.
Once again, thank you so much for paying attention to my words. It feels really good to know there are so many people who are curious and imaginative. I hope this space gives you permission to bet on yourself and give things a go - be it in art, science, theology, or something else entirely. In the wonderful words of Master Yen Sid from the Kingdom Hearts games, may your heart be your guiding key.